Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy
by JessieBear22
Summary: 6: Draco Malfoy catches the kissing disease. Who'd he get it from?
1. Using Umbrellas As Blunt Objects

**A/N: In a very random and silly mood with this one. Don't know what came over me actually but whatever. New reviewers wanted badly! I'd love your opinions, seeing as this is my newest fan-fic. I'm a bit nervous because I've never actually written one such as this. But yes. Review, review, review:D**

**Inside the Mind Of Draco Malfoy:**

**The Adventures Of A Demented Boy**

**Using Umbrellas as Blunt Objects**

**June 6:**

My birthday was pretty damn wicked this year… My father, the big scary Death Eater guy who everybody fears was discovered in his bedroom closet with none other than Professor Snape. Who would have thought? That greasy haired man could catch my father's eye. Sneaky devil. Yes, Lucius Malfoy is a Death Fairy… Isn't it marvelous? I couldn't help but write all of this down so that I can preserve the memory forever and use it to black mail my father with years down the line… Even though everybody who attended my huge birthday bash got front row seats to the event… But still, there _are_ others.

It's funny, because my mother and father had just gotten that walk in closet redone. And no sooner was it finished, my father was coming out of it… If you get my meaning. Ha!

Besides, the party was beginning to get a bit dull for me.

The juicy part was that my mother caught them at it. We heard her screeching something at the top of her lungs and suddenly, my father appeared, running down the spiral staircase shielding his face from her. She held a huge black umbrella in her hands and she was beating him over the head with it. She chased my father and his lover from the house in her tight little white dress. Even in her anger, she manages to look elegant.

She jabbed him hard quite a few times. I'm interested to find out if he's going to have to get that umbrella surgically removed from his arse. Who knows? Perhaps he'll have a lightning bolt scar there, where my mother's wrath tore him a new one…

I was beginning to wonder what all of the fluffy cushions were about. They covered my parent's bed, the couches… Fuzzy carpets in my father's car. That was when I knew it wasn't mother. She's never liked fluffy much… We got her a poodle once for her birthday and she shaved all of it's fur off and made it grow back straight…Who does that to a poodle? Apparently my mother but come on!

How could we not see it? It's not that we didn't see it, we just knew better than to ask. Although he may ride the rainbow of love in a pink cardigan he is still the Dark Lord's Death Fairy and he can kill you with one glance in your direction. Just like a woman with the evil eye…

Ah well… I hope that old saying like father like son doesn't come into play anytime soon. Especially when it comes to Snape. I shiver. Sometimes people like to try and go through a whole family. Just like a certain Pansy Parkinson with the Weasley twins, the Weasel King, and the Weaselette… She wouldn't go near that Percy fellow though… His oddly shaped head freaked her out a bit.

**A/N: I don't know if I'll actually update on this one. It depends on the amount of readers. :D xoxo**


	2. Why Must Gran Always Pinch My Cheeks?

**Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:**

**Adventures of a Demented Boy**

**Why Must Gran Always Pinch My Cheeks?**

**June 23: **

Today we went to visit Gran, my mother's mother. Every week it's the same thing.

My mother wrestles me into the carriage which includes her dragging me from the house kicking and screaming since the tender adorable age of three when I was old enough to realize and understand where exactly she's taking me.

She magically binds me to the carriage seat and I scowl at her the whole way there and she says: "You can look at me that way all you want. You're coming to visit your Gran."

Then I call Gran a perverted old lady and mother pretends not to hear.

We arrive at Gran's and I try to make a run for it so mother keeps me on an invisible leash.

Gran answers the door and the very awkward greeting takes place…

So yes. Gran threw the door open her pearly white dentures revealed in a wide scary clown smile. After a while I just stopped smiling back. She doesn't feel the ever so obvious contempt oozing out of every pore on my body. And if you glare at her openly she doesn't even notice.

Anyway. She greeted me first pulling me into her arms. I stiffened up hoping this would be over quick. She planted a big wet one on my mouth then her hands wandered below my waistline and she gave both cheeks a tweak…

Really is it necessary for her to do that every time?

Right, so we got to visiting, meaning I sat there stuffing my face with little jelly cookies and my grandma went off about how much of a fuck up my father was.

"Cissy, that man knew his sexual orientation before he even met you! I always knew he was too pretty to be straight. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if this one here is batting for the same team as his father!"

That crazy bitter old bat! I most certainly do **NOT** ride the rainbow of love! Just because I have bitching good looks and a considerable amount of male friends does **NOT** mean I am a fruitcake! And even if I were a fruitcake, I'd be a delectable one.

"It seems everybody's experimenting these days," she went on to say. "Honestly you would've been better off marrying Arthur Weasley. He's from a perfectly respectable pureblooded family, although I never fancied red hair in our genetic pool. And that James Potter was much too wild for you."

I must admit I was quite disturbed to hear my Gran say _that_. Weasley and Potter? She has to give my mother more credit than that.

"And maybe if you would've married some one else your son wouldn't be gay!" she said shooting a nasty look.

So that's it is it? She thinks I'm gay because I don't like to have my cheeks pinched by her every time I see her. And not just once but twice? I swear! That woman calls me gay every time I visit her. I'm too pretty to be straight.

If only Gran knew what I did with my female guests when my mother's back was turned. But neither of them will ever know that.

So, two spiked cups of English Tea later we were leaving. Thank God for small favors. I gave Gran a hug and of course she pinched my cheeks. And not the ones that one would usually think off. But Gran gives me sweets so visiting her isn't a complete waste of time. Even though it does make me gain extra unnecessary weight and that I could do without. Don't need to be returning to school chubby would we. Then I'd be a fat boy just like that Longbottom kid. I wonder if he's slimmed down over the years? It would seem probable although I don't think anybody notices him anyway. Poor bloke. How can you go through life without having a small following of people that worship you?

**A/N: Hmmm. Still don't know if I'm going to go on with this story. Again we'll see. Thank you to my two very nice reviewers. I'm glad you liked it enough to review.**


	3. The Emptiness a Betrayal Brings

**A/N: First off I'd like to say, thank you to all of the great reviews that were submitted to this story. It's much appreciated, and truthfully I really didn't expect this story get that many reviews so yes. Here is another update. Hope you enjoy it! And I know it is different from all the rest but perhaps you'll like it just as much:D **

**The Chambers Of Narcissa's Heart:**

**The Emptiness a Betrayal Brings**

**July 1st:**

I've lost myself to the depths of my thoughts. Draco is gone with his father this week. Although Lucius has wounded me deeply, I do not think it just to separate him from our son. I do not know what I shall do with my king no longer by my side. I suppose it is safe to say an empire has fallen; come crashing down upon Draco's sixteenth birthday. I cried myself to sleep that night. The first night I've really truly been alone in years.

My bitter tears have come steadily since, and I've found myself cursing Lucius for what he's done. No words were spoken when he came up to the door of Malfoy Manor. Right now he has chosen to keep away from our home, seeing as we have several others he can stay at.

I knew our marriage lacked passion for the last few years. It's been nothing like when we were newly weds. I guess in time things must change. I never knew that the pain would be this great… Lucius was and is the love of my life. What am I going to do without him? Does he even care that he's managed to tie me into knots and cast me aside like I'm useless?

I feel that there is something missing. Something must be said for what I discovered so inappropriately in our own bedroom. I have to know if this has been going on long. And poor Draco. He must be in pain to know that his parents may be reaching the end of their life together. I know that some relationships run their course but what of ours? Must it end this way? Is there such a thing as fate when it comes to relationships? Is there a set date when God cuts a thread and says, "That's it. It's time to move on to the next chapter of your life…" And have I been clinging to something that just is not meant to be?

Then there is the family. If we choose to separate, it will be a disgrace to our pureblooded relatives. After all, marriage is forever. When Lucius and I sealed the deal that we would be united as one soul for the rest of our lives, it was written in stone… There's a good chance we will both be disowned. Lucius especially for his disorderly conduct. If it is ever discovered. I am not a vengeful woman though, so if the people find out about his relations with Severus, it will not have escaped from my lips.

When I was a girl, I used to think it was ridiculous to promise someone you'd feel the same way forever and all you had to show for it was a wedding band. That is like signing over your life in one quick kiss. But in time I grew to realize that it was something sacred; something to be cherished. And I learnt that we have more than just a wedding band. We have our beautiful son, Draco. When he was born, Lucius and I were so proud.

I had been told that I couldn't have children at the age of twenty. Well, more that it would be very hard for me to conceive. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and the healers told me often times, you become infertile. In the beginning it's because I'd been having horrible menstrual cramps. I'd gone in to see if they could give me a potion to kill the pain. So, when Draco came along, it was a surprise to everyone.

When I first found out I was scared to tell Lucius. I had fears the he would leave me because I couldn't give him an heir, but it never came to that. Shortly after I told him that I might be infertile, I discovered I was pregnant.

I guess the fact that I had something else to focus on (Draco), other than our marriage a barricade was placed to shield me from our dying relationship. I feel this is not salvageable…

**A/N: This is a slight change from the first two journal entries I've posted. Truthfully, I don't really know where this is going, and that's why there seems to be no real story, for those of you that asked. Anyways, if you like, update. Because I love to hear what you think… Well read. I think next update will be from Draco's point of view again. **


	4. There Is No Such Thing As Love But

**Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:**

**The Adventures of a DementedBoy**

**No Such Thing As Love…But There is Lust**

**July 1:**

This week was an interesting one… I've never seen father so down. It's like he's fallen and just kept on going. It's unusual to see him in such a state, for he's never really cared about anything or anyone but himself. His excessive drinking has been a bit… _trying_ lately, seeing as he gets naked and goes to weep in the ocean. I shiver.

I've already had to go and retrieve him twice. Twice! The first time it was to save him from drowning. The second time it was to keep the muggle neighbors from calling the police because his old white arse was showing and their children could see. Both times I'd brought a pair of his knickers out with me and forced him into them, just so _I_ wouldn't accidentally be the cause of him drowning because I'm keeping my eyes closed, (to shield myself from being even more traumatized than I already am,) and dragging him under the water without realizing it.

Snape came over once and father chased him off with a mop. He yelled, "There is no such thing as love between a man and another man, there is only lust!" Honestly did he really think father actually _meant_ to stay with him? Sometimes people can be so thick. Even though you'd think father would have the decency to _at least_ have an affair with a _woman_.

I've learned quite a bit over the past few days about what went wrong in my parents' marriage. Most I didn't really need nor want to know, but you can't shut dear old dad up when he's having verbal diarrhea. Apparently my mother hadn't given him any because she was too busy with _me_ and he got "lonely." They may be private in their relationship but any wizard with eyes could see that my mother cares for him. And if anyone knows that he tends to be a bit…_distant_, well it's me. His wayward son. And to the neighbors, I'm a lost cause**. :D**

I love being a rebel; it just makes everything so much more…exciting.

But yes, it's because of his constant neglect that I came up being emotionally unstable. Or to most people, a "Crazy Slytherin Git." But at least I've got a good excuse that will last me the rest of my life. My father's Lucius Malfoy, the dancing queen!

Ha, the many names I can call him now are endless. **:D **Name calling has always been one of my favorite things to engage myself in when I see an ugly, fat, or nerdy person walking by. Lately the only person I've had the need to bully is my drunken father.

Yet, with all of the _great_ fun I'm having, (rolls eyes,) I find myself wondering how mother's holding up. After all, Gran gave her a bad rap the other day and if _I _haven't fully recovered from our encounter, then surely mother hasn't either. Perhaps I should owl her tomorrow just to check up… Unless I'm too busy trying to keep father fully clothed…

Perhaps I should hide the liquor… And take his wand away so he can't set his hair on fire again. _Purely_ accident, but he has proved to be a hazard to himself. And he scares all of my lady friends away. This won't do, this **WILL NOT** do at all!

**A/N: Okay. Fourth chapter from Malfoy's point of view as promised. Hope you liked it. Review! Tell me what you think!**


	5. A Woman's Scorn & Bubble Gum Kisses

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews for those of you who took the time. Here is another chapter for you!**

**Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:**

**The Adventures of a Demented Boy**

**The Mysteries of a Woman's Scorn: Bubble Gum Flavored Kisses**

**July 4:**

I just had the most uncomfortable run-in with Pansy Parkinson today in Diagon Alley.

Seeing as I have just returned to the Malfoy Manor with my mother, I am _extremely_ relieved… I don't think I will be visiting father for quite some time until he gets his act together. Plus I saw his bare arse way too many times for comfort. So, on with it!

I entered Flourish and Blotts for a bit of light reading. Yes, that's right. I, Draco Malfoy _like_ to read. You never would've guessed that would you? It's because I'm blonde isn't it?

Anyway, she got a job there. Fancy that! A girl like Pansy _not_ becoming a stripper. Truthfully, I wasn't at all disappointed she picked a different profession, seeing as she's not exactly _thin_…

So, I was paying for my books and she was all:

"Draco!" Only it wasn't the happy kind of tone I like to hear come out of the honeys when I walk by. Oh nooooo. Her face was all red and blotchy and being as startled as I was, I jumped, dropping my book of dark magic. Damn her!

Apparently she was upset because I hadn't called her _all_ summer. Can you believe that? Pfft. I don't _believe_ in calling girls. Because that's like trapping yourself like a wild animal to be tortured by the non-stop flow of nonsense.

At first I didn't know what she was on about, really. She was just all, "Draco Lucifer Malfoy! I am so angry at you!"

And of course me being the dumb blonde I am said, "Why? I haven't talked to you at all this summer for you to be mad at me!"

And then she threw a pair of scissors at me shrieking madly and I ducked. "YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW!"

Ah yes, the key term. See ladies, us males, to put it bluntly, are oblivious to what you may be feeling. So when you are about to tell your boyfriend, "You should already know." Rethink it, because he most likely doesn't have a clue as to what you're going on about. So spell it out just to save yourselves and your men a _looooot_ of trouble.

"What the hell is the matter with you, you cunt? I haven't done anything to you!" I had cried. We were making quite a scene.

"That's just it, _Draco_," she said deathly quiet. "You haven't done _anything_ to me _all_ summer," she growled. My eyes widened and I turned around to make sure my mother wasn't around to hear that. But she was and I slapped my forehead. Damn Pansy Parkinson, damn her to HELL!

"You," I hissed, pointing at her threateningly. "Now you've gone and done it you fat little Twinkie!"

Of course if she really were that fat, I never would have slept with her.

"You shallow bastard!" she spat back. And then our eyes met and we lunged for each other at the same time, our lips clamping together in a very slobbery bubble gum flavored kiss. It was then that my mother put my invisible leash around my neck and dragged me from the store.

**A/N: Alright. Chapter… Five? Yeah. If you liked it, review! **


	6. The Reason I Had To Go Visit A Doctor

**Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy:**

**The Adventures of a Demented Boy**

**The Reason I Had To Visit A Muggle Doctor**

**July 25:**

They call it the kissing disease. Yup that's right. So let me tell you the story. I attended a party at Pansy's house.

I entered at ten o'clock sharp. The party had been going on about two hours already and I'm never on time for those things. Who wants to be the first one at a party unless they're throwing it themselves? So there were girls galore. Dressed in skimpy out fits and three-inch heels with the longest most beautiful legs you'd ever see, and apparently a lot of mono. Well, I fell into pace with every one else instantly. You people know me. I go well with anything. Even gays!

So I was sitting on Pansy' couch when this girl came and sat down right on top of me. She was fine as wine as they say.

"Hi there," she said. "What's your name?"

"You don't know?" I asked my eyebrow raised.

"Let's see," she murmured. "Blonde hair, gray eyes, pale skin, permanent smirk, and a great body. You must be Draco Malfoy."

Seeing as I'd never met this girl before, I was actually quite surprised, and impressed. And in love.

"And who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Pansy's cousin," she replied. My eyes widened.

"You're shitting me?" I asked. I had no idea it was even possible that Pansy could have someone as gorgeous as this in her gene pool.

"Nope," she said. "I'm Ashlynn Parkinson," she said.

So yeah. I'm sure you can see where that's going. Although I'm not sure if that's who I got the kissing disease from. But yeah, I took Pansy's cousin that night and when I woke up in the morning both Pansy and Ashlynn were laying with me and a bunch of those muggle rubber contraptions were all over the bed. I haven't decided if I like those or not… And about a week later, I got a sore throat and severe fatigue. Goody.

Anyway, that stupid wrinkly doctor said it sometimes takes a little for the symptoms to show up. And he prodded at me with his nasty rubbery gloved hands. Then he declared to my mother that I had mono. Neither of us knew what the hell that was but yes.

Turns out Blaise ended up with it too. I think I shared a drink with him…

A/N: I know it's been forever and I'm sorry. Sometimes I just loose my enthusiasm and get a total block going. So here it is. Kinda lame I know but it's all I could come up with.


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